Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Slightly Mean Reviews...

These started off as random extra things I had lying around, but now it just seems to be me pissed. Oh well.

Ambulance

Witchi Tai To b/w Over & Out

12” single

Sea Records

“Witchi Tai To” starts off like I remember them live, a Pixies bassline with nice vocals. But then it descends into blah British nothingness. They all wore headbands onstage…is that good? “Over & Out” begins like a throwaway, dialogue samples, goofing off, but from nowhere turns out a brickheavy Buttholes/Black Sabbath riff that purely decimates. If it had some lyrics it would be all the better. Still though…that riff! I shan’t be forgetting this soon

I’m From Barcelona

“We’re From Barcelona” b/w “Glasses”

Interpop

There’s twenty-four Swedish hipsters on the cover here. Listening to the songs, it’s hard to imagine what exactly nineteen of them are doing on the recording. Seriously, when you employ a comically large band of nitwits (a la Polyphonic Spree) you should make it count. Bring in the damn sousaphone. Have someone playing garbage cans like in Slipknot. Seriously, do I have to spell it out for you? Go whole hog. This band was somewhat “next-big-shit” when I was in the UK in October, but I really don’t see it going anywhere special. I can imagine more time being spent coordinating their photoshoots and typing out all those names with umlauts and the null-set symbol (which I can’t even find on my keyboard). And upon closer inspection, there’s five dudes missing from the photo? What’s up with that? You’re a band, but not everyone makes it in the photo? What is this, the Dirtbombs on the “Cedar Point ‘76” or “Brucia I Cavi” sleeves? My favorite part of this single is the locked run-out groove that endlessly reaps on a deep demonic terror. I will listen to that far longer than either of these songs.

Sapat “Tongue Tied and Staid” (I’d be damned if I could find a label name)

I bet these guys get super-bummed when everyone and their Milk Duds can really only say they sound like Captain Beefheart. Like “Aw man, not again! Come on…we listen to Zappa too!” Almost a perfect recreation of the Beef’s tin guitar tone, honky horn screech and nippy drum bits. Still not sure if this is 33 or 45 rpm. 78 you say? 16 even? Sure, why the hell not? No one’s listening anyway. “Halcyon Nights” is the title of a long-forgotten Tad song, so a Sapat song called “Halcyon Daze” will certainly be just as unpopular. “Krackhausblooze” finds a vein of meaty mid-eighties acid-burned freakout before snapping into more Van Vliet cribbing. And the lyrics try so hard to be Dada but they just ain’t. Eh.

Robedoor “Unsummoning” CD-r (Not Not Fun)

Packaging trumps the music.

Wolf Eyes

The Driller b/w Psychogeist

12” single

Sub Pop

The crystal-clear tones and production really bring out the fluidity of the string section. Kudos to these clean-cut fellas and their tunes about girls. The whole thing just makes you feel good inside. With a winning attitude and loads of spunk, it doesn’t take a genius to see these guys will make millions. Lookout MTV…here comes Wolf Eyes!

Liars

How Many More Times?

split 10”

Fire

Honestly the last Zep song I’d guess this bunch of dudes to cover. I could totally see Angus getting super-into “Carouselambra” and turning that shit on its head. But after a while it feels like Liars are totally in line to take the piss. Still, could you ever get sick of that riff? Didn’t think so. Toss in a bunch of water-drippy noises and other production suggestions straight from the barrel of a bong and you’ll understand why the record is limited to 500 copies and why it’s non-existent in US shops (I found mine on eBay). And a locked grooveStill waiting for Hand Held Heart to release the Liars/Blood Brothers split where Liars cover some Doors song. It has to be as good as this at least. Flip by Gerry Mitchell and Little Sparta “Feasting On My Heart” is BORING. Seriously…add some drippy water noises and smoke some of the gange already. Jeez.

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