The Muldoons Phoned It In...

The Muldoons on “Phoning it In” radio program.
Live in the Muldoon Upholstery garage.
Amps on standby
No heat in here.
Hunter in sleeveless white t-shirt.
Shane wearing Spitfire skateboarding t-shirt with Bloody Hollys (Cyril Lords) pin.
Brian in beret and long-sleeve yellow and grey striped t-shirt.
Hunter doing the interview.
Shane waltzing around, trying to cause a stir, aggravate his brother.
Start at 9:04 pm, Shane wearing Honolulu blue air-traffic-controller headphones.
The fact that this is all happening through a mustard yellow curlee cord phone is wonderful. Me and Mom are sitting on the cutting table (she’s also wearing a pair of blue ATC headphones).
1st song – “I Need Your Love” cover of the Greenhornes garage mover, Shane is rampant, all over the studio.
2nd song – “Pain – Gimme Sympathy” cover of Jack Starr, popularized by the Upholsterers…Shane-O gets into this one, hopping around the microphone, treating this like an actual show. The radio listeners can’t see how enthusiastic he is and it is their loss.
3rd song – “Tall” my favorite original ‘doons tune. The melody of the choruses “oh-oh-oh-oh” is painfully simple and deceptive and catchy as all hell. Shane claps along and I can see the imaginary crowd doing so as well. This band is so intrinsically good that it pains me when people don’t get it. When they’re overly critical of the fact that these kids aren’t virtuosos. They’re totally missing the point. This is unbridled youthful exuberance.
How can you tell if someone is trying to call on the other line? I wonder if that annoying call waiting audio click/mute is happening right now. Or if some is trying to pull an emergency breakthrough.
4th song – “Epic Battles” intro into “Red and Black” back into “Epic Battles” and I take snapshots using my iSight camera.
5th song – “Not Old Enough” I don’t’ think I’ve ever heard this song before. Shane is on guitar and the boy is primal, can’t see him tackling more than one string at a time. Missing out on rock and roll shows, R-rated movies…’tis your fate when you don’t even have an ID. Shane is rocking the wah-wah.
6th song – “Zombies” I adjust phone placement for a second and stick my tongue out at Shane. This song chugs on with dissonant distorto guitar weight. Heavy like you ate 3 cheeseburgers at Miller’s in Dearborn. Hunt slays on his “zombie solo”, one of the best solo intro’s after “tell ‘em how I feel” and “take it Micky”
7th song – “Imaginary Friends” slow picked guitar like the Keggs that I’m sure these boys have never heard. Lonely fuzz by Shane. Wait, isn’t this a school night? Are the boys up too late? Setlist taped to the door of the shop. Telephone is hanging from the top of a steamer, a few inches from two swaths of foam attached to the wall, Albini-style.
8th song – “Funtime” Cover of Iggy Pop. If Shane isn’t a born frontman I don’t know who is. He oozes the charisma it takes many guys many years to develop. Asheton-like wah-wah blasts from Hunt destroy. I’m behind his amp and it sounds glorious. We talked about the new Stooges song…"My Idea of Fun” the kids loved it, Brian and I thought it left a bit to be desired. Is anyone listening? Brian has threatened to release this on an LP if it sounds remotely good, enamored with the absurdity of the lo-fi idea through a telephone.
9th song – “Interstellar Overdrive” intro to “Chubby Bunny” Shane does the “IO” power chords as his bangs hang over his eyes. I notice the point where they keep repeating the song title that they progressively make it more and more unintelligible…as if they’re actually shoving marshmallows in their mouths while singing. It’s attention paid to the smallest detail (like this) that is behind the best bands. Mom has the video camera rolling. Multi-media. Stuttered marching band snare drum dominance from Brian propels the song. Hunter’s voice is changing and he’s sick so his vox are delicately odd this evening. Is this the rocking-est garage in Detroit? Shane playing the high E string to the tempo of “Top Special” by the White Stripes. A “Drain You” styled plodding build-up, back into “IO”.
Shane grabs the receiver when they’re done “Hello?” “Thank you”
Mom says “shane, walk over here a little” so that he’s in camera sight.
We listen to the performance on the computer after moving all the gear out of the shop. Brian and Shane think it sounds great. Hunter thinks they are nuts. Mom just sits and smiles.

This is my favorite family in the world.

Listen for yourself…
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